Be Aware Of P.R.A.I.S.E

Every New born comes into the world crying.In that cry the mother sees I want to Live, the cry for survival & responds with feeding and contact for warmth.There is the perfect communication between the child and the mother.As the Child grows the physical self becomes less important and the abilities and skills become more important.His/Her image in the eye of others and self concern begins to develop.A healthy child develops sense of pride in herself for her individuality.This healthy growth may suffer on account of false assertions of self and futile defenses.

 

False Assertions and Futile Defenses

There are four ends in life which everyone seeks.Physical Prowess,Possessions,Prestige and Power in varying degrees.All these ends can be acquired in their own way without entering the competition,But most do it the other way.Further we want to appear good,intelligent,reasonable and laudable in the eyes of others.If we try this without insisting on others that they must accept us as we wish we are,there is no harm.But we strive to impress others to perceive us in a way which they cannot share.

Both competition with others and acceptance from others make us adopt ways of false assertions of ourselves.These ways are considered as P R A I S E  which make us deceive ourselves in our life.

 

P - Putting Our self In Winning Situations

Some of us set us low goals as to make sure that we are always in a winning situation.We rarely stretch ourselves for fear of failure.Thereby we get a false sense of victory each time.But we will be unable to realize that we are not accomplishing big things in life and also not getting real success or happiness.The less we have this attitude the more we succeed in our life..

 

R - Recalling Past Unfinished Business

There are many people who talk of laudable tasks started in the past but discontinued for reasons beyond their control.They never admit that they lacked certain qualities  like perservance to accomplish the task. You should think before starting a task wether it can be accomplished by you or not and consider all the pros and cons before jumping to it.You should be able to bear all the consequences that come in your way and should complete the task.

 

A - Associating With Important individuals or Groups

When these individuals or groups get name we are too glad to pose in the group photograph.Here we consider ourself successful and achieved the given task.But,in reality we have done nothing and we are living in a false belief of success saying to ourselves that we have accomplished some thing.

 

I - Identifying With Them

When we associate with the important individual, we find ourselves imitating them and identifying with them.It is like a two year old imitating his father wearing his shoes or glasses.he imagines he is daddy now at other times according as he wishes.This habit of imitating continues into adulthood with many people.But if you keep on imitating someone there is the danger of losing your own identity.So try to be yourself rather than imitating others.

 

S - Surrounding Self with YES men

This is some what opposite to the above two association and identifying.We manage to get a few yes men who make us feel important.When they praise us, we feel the prestige we want.However these false praises will one day push us into a deep well from which we cant come up.

 

E - Emphasising the Brighter Side of the Wall

This is the most common behaviour of humans.We do speak facts about us, but only partial truths. These are not at all facts because there is a vulnerable part of which we are afraid of showing. For example we may boast we are always punctual to a meeting, but do not say a word, of not saying a word in those meetings.

 

These are the ways we want to gain prestige, look good , intelligent, reasonable and laudable persons in the eyes of others.This is an aspect of our blind self. In fact they are self deceptions.they will not allow us to be worthwhile human beings.

 image credit : designniac

What do you think Of PRAISE ? ? Is it helpful or Not ?  ?